Indianapolis Intensity is excited to welcome new team member Mario Nasta to the orange and gold this 2021 MLQ season. Nasta will be transferring from Boston, where he was a successful beater for four seasons.
The necessity for the transfer started in February, when MLQ announced that Boston’s team has been rebranded as “Boston Forge”. Not one to stand for non-alliterated team names (especially having recently founded the heavily-alliterated team “Revolution”), Nasta explained that the transfer was a natural next step in his comment on Facebook, saying “I just feel there is a missed opportunity for alliteration.”
Nasta’s concern for having an alliterated team name has been a major theme throughout the renaming process, in which he was heavily involved. Early suggestions from him and the Boston team included: “Boston Bite,” “Boston Barons,” “Boston Bluffs,” “Boston Boulders,” “Boston Big Boats,” “Boston Boggers” and the “Boston (O)belisks.” MLQ heavily considered these highly esteemed, thought-through and sensical suggestions before finally settling on the clearly inferior option of “Boston Forge,” which speaks to the city’s resilience, historic presence, and ability to define a new path.
Not content to sit idly by while Boston was done the disservice of a regionally significant, uplifting team name, Nasta decided to take on the important social cause of alliteration and file his transfer to Indianapolis.
It is important to note that MLQ did complete market research on the suggested names from Nasta and other members of the Boston team, including their other suggestions of the “Boston Luigis” and the “Boston Dunkaccinos”. (Inconceivably, MLQ passed on these options as well.) When presented with the alliterated and other potential team names, a native Bostonian remarked, “I feel like the problem with these names isn’t the second word so much as the first.”
Another local noted the difficulty in creating a meaningful name for Boston, commenting that “Boston is a dying second-tier city whose major industries are education and medical services. Everything else we’re good at or known for, another city does better and is better known for it. All we’ve really got going for us is that we’re the worst drivers in New England.”
In protest, Nasta is drumming up support from big names on the Boston team, such as Teddy Costa, to start a second team in the city called the “Boston Bluebottles” while he transfers to Indianapolis in the meantime. Nasta cites the superiority for this name in that “they both start with B” which is, of course, objectively the only true measure of a good team name.
Nasta also questions the merit of team names that don’t allow “S” to be added to the end. Forget the Miami Heat, the Utah Jazz, Orlando Magic, Colorado Avalanche, the Minnesota Wild, the Tampa Bay Lightning, Chicago Fire, the Seattle Kraken, the L.A. Galaxy, the Houston Dash, New York Liberty or 100s of other teams with singular nouns across the country in women’s sports leagues, colleges, minor / junior leagues, and various semi-professional sports leagues.
He also critiques the color palette of Boston Forge, citing that it looks “dull”. This makes sense, considering Boston quidditch teams have been using a blinding shade of green that can literally be seen from space for at least seven years, and really, anything would look “dull” next to such a scientifically impossible shade of neon chartreuse. This in mind, the “Boston Bluebottles” new color palette will be comprised of several colors known to print easily on jerseys:
Stay tuned for more updates on Nasta’s recent transfer to Indianapolis, and the success of his upcoming launch of secondary Boston MLQ team, the Boston Bluebottles.
This post is a part of April Fool’s Day 2021. Mario Nasta is a significant contributor to the sport and a dear volunteer of ours. We appreciate all of his contributions.